Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
