he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
