I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
