The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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