I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
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I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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