My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
