piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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