Got a toothbrush?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
