Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
