its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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