he shaved USA in his pubs
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
