Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My vagina is officially offended.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
