Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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