so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
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It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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