Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
