She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
