i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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