the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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