do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
