she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
