fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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