dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
