Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
