No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
