Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
