i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
