There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
