im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
His nipple licking is glorious
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