That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
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They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
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No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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