so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Randomize
