Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize