Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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