My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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