is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
