is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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