new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
