So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
