If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
