Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
