Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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