WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize