"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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