I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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