She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
