he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
