...so i touched it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
