Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
