his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
