Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
