So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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