After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
