It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
