The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
