the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
