Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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