ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
