I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
