Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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