Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
