I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
