thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
