captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
