how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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