Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
