so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
