Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
