It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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