The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
