I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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