Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just threw up on my dentist
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
