Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
