two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
