Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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